![]() But if you’re in the market for a wonderfully tasty breakfast, this is definitely for you.Advertisements Are you tired of wallet surprises at your favorite fast food joint? Grappling with unforeseen expenses can leave a sour taste, even after a sumptuous meal. Yes, the nutritional facts on this sandwich read more like…I don’t know, something with large numbers. ![]() I give it a 9/10, a stiff pat on the butt, and a “nice job.” It really was a revelation, but not like the creepy, apocalyptic bible kind, more like the pancakes for dinner or Kate McKinnon on Saturday Night Live kind. Put all of that together and you end up with a freaking wonderful breakfast sandwich. As for the cheese, it was melted well, creamy, and it held everything together, which was necessary considering the shape of the sausage. It was light and didn’t have any weird textural issues, so thumbs up for that. I have no idea if it was real egg or from a mixture, but it seemed good to me. The eggs and cheese were very good in their supporting roles. Grilling it brought out even more flavor and that’s what put this sandwich over the top for me. It had so much delicious pig flavor I wanted to cry tears of salty, porcine joy. The sausage was a link, sliced lengthwise and grilled, and it was clearly the star of the sandwich. It was not as fluffy as a fresh one, which was the main issue, but again, it wasn’t a big deal. It was still buttery and moist, and a little crisp on the edges. It was evident that the biscuit had been sitting, but it really didn’t matter much. I dug in, and by George this sumbitch was delicious. Usually these come hotter than Mila Kunis in a Ukrainian forest fire, but since this one was expired it was about as hot as former Ukrainian prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko, which is to say above room temperature, but not necessarily hot. I was slightly worried by the temperature of this biscuit. I think they are less nutritional than particle board with a side of straight bacon grease, but I’ll be damned if they aren’t the bee’s knees. By the way, these Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s biscuits are fantastic. ![]() Although, how could it not be? It’s a Hillshire Farm smoked sausage link, egg, and American cheese, on a “Made From Scratch” biscuit. This sandwich had better be amazeballs, I thought. Is that okay?” More ecstatic than a costumed geek in line to see Iron Man 3 at 12:01 AM, I replied, “Fine with me!” It was a breakfast miracle! A biscuit at 10:35! Rejoice! A man who looked like a manager said, “We do have a couple of biscuits left, but they expired like two minutes ago. Will they see the look I give them? Will they be afraid? Will they even know it’s a death stare, or will they think something is wrong with me? Is something wrong with me? Then, a head poked out the window. As the car in front of me pulled out, my heart raced. I practiced the death stare I would give when I drove past the window. I sat in line for a couple of minutes, stewing. “Sorry, we don’t have any biscuits left anyway. But I’ve been in line for a couple of minutes!” I pleaded. Praise be to Allah! I ordered a Smoked Sausage, Egg & Cheese biscuit with the confidence of a thousand Kanye Wests. The lady before me ordered a Bacon, Egg & Cheese biscuit with no issues. When I finally pulled into the drive-thru, it was exactly 10:30. It’s a wonder that I managed to back out of the driveway without incident. I got in the car at 10:25, still 90% asleep. I just had to go as quickly as possible and hope for the best. serves breakfast until 10:30 or 11, but I couldn’t. ![]() 10:20, the clock showed, with a most devilish grin. My eyes opened and I immediately rolled over and looked at the time. I’ll just set an alarm for 9 and that will give me plenty of time. I told myself 50 minutes of naked Emmy Rossum couldn’t hurt. “How about an episode of Shameless?” it whispered. I couldn’t quite make out the words, so I popped it open. As I lay my head down, I heard the faintest voice coming from my computer. I had just finished knocking a few of last week’s shows off the DVR (I’m way behind after a fantastic vacation in Mexico #humblebrag). breakfast, I need to get to sleep 2 hours ago, I thought to myself sometime in the dark hours of Thursday morning. If I’m going to get up in time for Carl’s Jr. ![]()
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